Love - Why me???

Love, Love, Love……… forever………. ? Ya ya, I don’t need those filmy answers from you guys, yaar yeh Pyaar dosti hai.. Blah Blah….

But nevertheless, it happens to all. To be very frank with you, Love is full on touchy vachhi business and I don’t believe in Sharukhan famous dialogue, Pyaar 1 hi baar hota hai (Kuch Kuch hota hai film ) , Ballzzz Dude go and check I guess there’s some probs with your Hormones J

It all started with my journey from Nerul – Bandra. It was thrice I missed my direct Andheri train and having no other option I preferred taking the very next train 8.11 a.m from Nerul – CST. Boarding this train really makes me sick coz it’s just that Lazy morning doesn’t allow me to get down, walk some distance and catch another train. Ahhh!!

From Platform no. 4 – Platform no.1 you just have to run and use Foot over bridge coz if you are late you just have to be in the centre of the people waiting for people to push you from right, left, back Damm!!

Reached Platform No. 1, Andheri Train 8.56 a.m and people are just waiting to jump in the train. Ok, I have to stand right in front of them to make sure I get in and get the SeatJ. Announcement started, “Platform no.1 par aane waali Agami Local 8 baj kar 56 minute ki Andheri Jaane Wali Dhimi Local hai” , then the Marathi version, English Version. I feel Why “MNS” didn’t take any action of Marathi announcement coming first: p lollzz

Dhak Dhak Dhak (train slowing), I hold the rod and dam! Somebody pushed me and Bang, got hurt my Back I shouted “c***”, other guy shouted “Kya hero Pheli baar chada hai 1^st class mein?” I replied “Nahi mere Baap phele meri liye special Metro banaya tha, Chuthya chal jaakar Bait andhar!!”

I went inside and went right next to the Ladies 1^st class Boogie and just sat looking at the Ladies 1^st class Boogie. One thing is surely common with all these people sitting and starring @ ladies boogie.

King circle station passed, damm there is so much of rush and war inside the train. Reached Mahim, hush push, Ahhh!! It feels so good to see an empty train J when I turned my Head from the Gate to the Ladies Boogie. Whoa!!!!! There was a cold breeze coming across and this girl in ladies 1^st class boogie just helped her hair get out of her face. Damm!! The face cut is just too good, perfect lips with black kameez J was so stunned and preferred starring @ her, people sitting close to me were just laughing. Ok, Control Raj J

She was busy talking on her head phone n I just preferred starring @ her. “Pudli Station Bandra, Agla Station Bandra, Next station Bandra”, Raj get up, its Bandra. Okkkkkk!!

Still can’t let go my eyes go off her , standing near the gate still looking @ her, Bandra , put my foot down and to my surprise was so happy to see her get down , people started running , Damm!! I preferred following her, I bet nobody can dress better than girls for sure, Black Kameez and Red Sal war, black healed shoe, nice figure and a black bag J

She preferred using foot over bridge so did I and suddenly there were 2 side turn, one towards Bandra west and the other to the fast local platform. L L She took left and I preferred taking right hoping to see her back the next day again in 8.56 a.m Andheri Local J.

TO BE CONTINUED………

A day is really enough for me to get the information about her, I came to know that she take the Local from sewri or cotton green and gets down in Bandra to take a fast train to Borivalli (not Andheri coz she already takes one Andheri local on harbor line ) :P. Wow! She looks so cute yaar, I don’t know but actually this nice rhyming poem came into my mind dedicated specially to her

It was a moony night, stars were twinkling bright, I was thinking of you and my co*** becomes Tight: P

Hahah, no no no wait..not this.

I drowned in the beautiful eyes of yours, having a wonderful night on your cheeks, sliding through your nose enjoying with the red strawberries. Wow!

The very next day again back on the same train, same timing, same seat waiting to see her again!, Ah! Again the cold breeze, Mahim station passed, she came out. Beautiful, you’re so beautiful! Beautiful..... beautiful.......... I was shocked to see where this song came from, one more guy in line for her dedicating song to her? Nah nah nah!! By mistake his headphones pop out J

Yaar, when she adjust her hair, hmmmm!! It feels like Boom Boom!!, Pink kameez and white salwar and a nice white bad with 2 small earrings. Any girl can make a guy go crazy with her tight fitting dressess J J

Hey, hold on she saw me and smiled back, yippee I too gave her my weird smile J J, once I got in Bandra I stared following her on foot over bridge this time I heard her voice she said “My train has left from Dadar” , and again she took the left and I preferred taking right.

Starting a conversation with any women is really a big task you just have to be perfect and make sure you attract her with your own sense of humor. I bet I can make any girl crazy with my sense of humor on the very 1^st meet but look wise nah I just can’t, bloody people just prefer looking at my hair rather than my whole body. Ya ya I am somewhat bald but still I am trying hard to bring back my hair :P (lolz , look at the confidence level I have when I talk about my hair )

This time definitely I will start the conversation, Ohhh! It’s Purple color shirt and brown pant and black heal shoes with her hair being down not tied J boom boom. She looked @ me again, this time I smiled back, fuck she didn’t smiled back ! fine she didn’t see me I guess.

We got down in Bandra station following her I started my conversation

I : hey, hi, so you take this same train?ha?

She: ………

I: hey, hi ssup?

She:…...

Somebody from the crowd told me “hero, ussne headphones phena hai “ nahi sunegi and everybody started laughin” hahahahah

Shit popat, she looked back and to my surprise she said"sorry I didn’t hear, will see you tomorrow I have to rush and took her left turn and waved bye to me J J Raj is all Blushing :-“>

While coming all the way to my office I just couldn’t stop laughing. Lolzzz

Put my status on FB: Waiting for the day to get over J .Finally, the very next day back again on the same seat and same place hoping this time we will talk for sure. Mahim station passed by , still waiting for her to come out of her seat. Reached Bandra nah she is not there LL

To be Continued…………………

Reality Show!!!

Reality Show

I used to always wonder is all reality shows fake or true??

This topic came into my mind when I started seeing reality shows on Television with all those intense drama’s, crying, fighting etc…… It’s as simple as that, just to increase the TRP’s, the show manager makes sure the best thing on the show is captured to bring back the same audience to watch the show.

I know I know, it’s boring for you guys to read it but relax I’m here to share my experienceJ. I was a part of 2 reality shows. I auditioned for 2 shows (Will talk about one show here)

So here it goes the first show which I auditioned was Indian IdolJ, ya ya you guys must have started thinking how can I sing? I can’t sing but I have a very good voice J lol and yeah this was actually told to me by my friends specially girls coz they just love my voice on Phone: P lol deep intense voice: P

As usual I got a sms from Vodafone saying that “So, u think u got the singing in you”? I (JOSH MEIN) was like Yeah Y not I got everything, continuing the SMS “Reply to this SMS and get your Auditions tickets”. I replied “SMS Indian Idol “to 52424, I got a reply saying “You will get an SMS on March 18^th if you make it to the Indian Idol Auditions”. It was so common that I will get reply for sure on this SMS.

The Day Passed and on 18^th I got a sms saying “Congratulations, you are selected for Indian Idol and your ID number is 29829 J lol, looking at this sms I started rehearsing too knowing the fact that I can’t sing but at least I can try J

I told all my friends “hey I got selected for Indian Idol” Nevertheless, they just kept on laughing and laughing and laughing”

The day March 21^st arrived and I got dressed up reached on time and to my surprise Indian Idol shooting was going on , the cameraman’s were capturing video’s of people who actually were good looking, smart and have a good Punch line about their Life . It just happened that I was looking @ them thinking when should I approach and tell my PART OF PUNCH LINE J

Shocked to see people with pathetic voice are getting into the next round with the 3 multi talented judges. These singers are no wonder look alike of Himesh, Salman and Humorous and also with some cool attire.

Waited, waited, waited, some people are dancing and coming out of the audition room and some as usual when dreams shattered, it just shattered like anything. I loved some people who didn’t get selected but they were fcuking so confident that they know singing better than those 3 judges lol, the dialogues which I heard are stated below

Black guy: Innko kya pata singing ke baaremein, 2 saal mein Anu ko meri song compose karne lagunga aur sunidhi ko usspar nachunga … hahah

A man whipping his tears: I will be the Biggest singer in 6 months of time and I will make sure I will SUE ANU MALIK IF HE STEALS MY SONG, BIG TIME, WILL FCUK THE SHIT OUT OF HIM.. Lol (I realized, yeh chokra toh hai talented abhi se hi number laga deta hu, kya bharosa yeh chokra sach mein maar de GAN* in sabki J J )

Some Volunteer called up “Rajendra” “Rajendra”, I ran towards him “Hey , I am Raj “

Volunteer: Sorry, I called Rajendra

I Replied: Sorry, I am Rajendra (Pyaar se log muje Raj khete hai (ARghhhhhh, filmy dialogue)

Volunteer (Angry look): Ha, mera baap Amitabh Bachhan hai !! ( he said in low tone: Kaha kaha se aajate hai hero banne)

I replied: Ha time hai hero baneko J

Volunteer (Showing the way): straight and left

Inside the Room, I was shocked to see how the 3 faces of judges can change, TV mein kuch aur dikhte real life mein kuch aur, then I thought ahh, I have to clear this round 1^st to reach the multitalented judges.

The conversation goes this way

Judge: Ya , so Rajendra sing

I started with my Fav song: Meri soniiiiiiiiiiiiiii meri tammanaaaaaaaaaa jhoot nahi hai meraaaaaa pyaarrrrrrr

Judge: Stopping me, issmein “LEH” kidhar hai??

I replied: “LEH”??

Judge: u don’t know LEH n u think u sing??

I replied again: “LEH”?

Judge: Thanks, bye

I came out with a dejected look still thinking WTF is “LEH”, 2 volunteers came running from behind me and told hey Rajendra, sorry but you are not qualified for next round.

I: Dammmm (As if singing was the only thing left in my life). I just preferred asking those 2 volunteer: Tell me what is “LEH”, I don’t know this was not funny but they started laughing and told: “LEH” means SUR, SUR NAHI HAI SIR AAP MEIN

Achcha!!!!!