Love
When I got home that night, Reshma came and hugged me and said “Hey, I missed you the whole day”, She didn’t know what was waiting for her that day. I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down, looked in my eyes just waiting for me to tell those words which will ruin her life like anything.
Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I don’t want to continue our relation. I raised the topic calmly.
She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?
I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away all those gifts and letter which I gave and wrote to her and started shouting at me, you are not a man! I left her home and that night we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our relation. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to another girl whom I started loving like anything. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!
With a deep sense of guilt I asked her “Hey, you ok?”
She looked at me and then broke down into tears. The woman who had spent three years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Lolita so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me a girl crying right in front of me has become a common thing and can let go all her tears for no use. The idea of not continuing with the relation which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.
The next day, she called me up late night and asked me to meet her. I preferred meeting her @ the same spot where we used to hang out earlier. Suddenly my other girl called up I preferred talking to her privately and left her all alone on that bench. All I can see was she weeping her tears and writing something on that bench with anger.
I came back to her and with guilt I asked her, hey sorry, tell me what happened?
Our conversation goes this way:
She: I don’t want anything from you but I need a chance to improve upon our relation
I: Listen sweets; try to be understandable, it won’t be possible for me to come back. I already love someone.
She: started crying, all those past memories started wandering in both of our mind and I just left her all alone against the bench thinking I can be back to normal only if I meet my Lolita.
To be continued…..
Ok, when I left her I had something more on my mind going which actually shouldn’t be going on, the first meet and the way I carried her into a normal Lounge bar when she hurt her left foot and the way I proposed her. All those special moments J
Two to three days gone by and she only calls up me and all I can hear is she crying on phone. The fourth day, she called up again and this time I was happy that she spoke to me and then she requested that every day for at least a month’s duration I should meet her and walk for ½ km holding her hand and smiling at each other.
I thought she was going crazy and needs medical attention. Ok, just to make our last together bearable I accepted her weird request.
I told my Lolita about my “Reshma’s” conditions. She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to live the fact that you guys are not in relation, she said mockingly.
1st day
Reshma and I hadn't had any body contact since our broke up intention was explicitly expressed. So when I took her hand and started walking on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. One uncle who was behind told his wife “look they look so sweet”. His words brought me a sense of pain.
From the garden to the main road and then to the railway station, I walked over ten meters with her holding her hand. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell anybody about our break up. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I took away my hand from her hand. She went to wait for the train to work. I left all alone to the office.
2nd day
Both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest while holding my hand. I couldn’t smell the fragrance of her T shirt. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she had stopped styling herself. There were no nail polish, no perfumes and no such Imitation jewellery to show off. Our relation had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.
4th Day
When I took her hand on my hand to hold up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given three years of her life to me.
5th & 6th Day
I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell my Lolita about this. It became easier to for me to walk with her without any hard feelings slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger to walk so much J J
She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. She called up one friend to ask what to wear and all. I suddenly realized that she had started maintaining her figure that was the reason why I could see the sudden change in her.
Suddenly it hit me... she wanted to build pain and bitterness in my heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.
That uncle came close to see us walking coz they just loved the chemistry between us. She went closer to that uncle and hugged her tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her hand again walking from the garden to the main road and then to the railway station. Her hand started touching my neck softly and naturally. I held her hand tightly; it was just like our first day when we got into relation.
But her much maintained weight made me think twice. On the last day, when I held her hand in my hand I could hardly move a step. I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.
I drove to my Lolita place.... jumped out of my bike without locking my bike. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. My Lolita opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, I was wrong she is the best for me. I can’t let go her so easily. We were the best and will remain the best. I love Reshma a lot.
She (Lolita) looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, I said, I won't break up with her (Reshma). My three years life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her daily knowing the fact that she loves me a lot I am supposed to hold her hand until death do us apart.
My Lolita seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away. (Fcuk what did I just do)
At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for Reshma. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll hold your hand out every morning until death do us apart.
That evening I arrived at her place, flowers in my hands, and a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find Reshma in the bed with her new boyfriend.
I was so busy knowing Reshma dressing for me and only me but I didn’t even know she was dressing for someone else L
So guys don’t you dare think twice before breaking up!!
A Break up is a Break up for God Sake!!
Moral of the story: Na GHAR KA NA GHAT KA: P: P: P J J J J
